About this video

I was recording my regular braindump and during the editing process I realized that the video you see below was separate from the main braindump. So here is a little bit about my spiritual evolution.

Spiritual Evolution

Throughout my life I’ve gone through a variety of incidents that I choose to call spiritual evolution. From the time I was ten or eleven I started having epiphanies. These were times when I could feel the love of the Universe – god – spirit. As a child I called it what my parents did: God, Christ, the Holy Ghost. As a young adult, I started calling it Goddess. This was loosely based on my introduction to Wicca and other world religions. As I progressed I finally began a discipline that included Buddhist practices of meditation and concentration. Focusing the mind on one thing (the breath) to free the spirit to explore and expand.

What causes evolution

I found this path through cooking. And not just any kind. I worked professionally, in kitchens that required discipline and commitment from its troops. In order to produce food at the level I was, one had to focus, concentrate. Just what the Buddhists teach.

Much of my evolving happened while in this work environment. There was letting go of Anger. Letting go of Fear and Anxiety. There were moments when in the thick of chaos I felt like the eye of the storm. I felt calm. I could push through incredible conditions of heat and fire, noise and yelling and create amazing plates of food for the diners.

I’ve grown so much in the last 20 years and it still surprises me when another growth spurt happens. The latest catalyst came in the form of a book called Bitten by the black Snake. It contains six Sutras of the ancient Hindu teacher Ashtavakra (I say it wrong in the video) interpreted by a modern day psychologist, Manual Schoch, and was gifted to me by a poet I see on occasion.

Ashtavakra lived before Buddha, and passed on much wisdom that has been taught through the centuries. I had encountered some of these teaching before, I just didn’t know where they came from. As I read the book my spiritual awareness grew. I felt more internal shackles falling away, I felt like I was becoming free from some thing that had been holding me back. It felt like an expansion inside of me. This happened between the third and fourth Sutras. Then I read the fifth. It then took a few more weeks to read the sixth and final Sutra.

Crown Chakra Energy

I kicked back and let it this development happen. I didn’t fight it. It started unfolding. For about the third time in the last five years, my crown chakra became a fountain, pouring out energy and surrounding me and my environment. This is known as a Kundalini Awakening and I’ve gotten passed the point of being surprised when it happens. I just grounded myself and let the energy flow. I didn’t feel like the top of my head would blow off, but it was pretty intense. I was convinced everyone else could see what was happening, but I know they can’t. It just feels like they can.

Separate yet One

I wish I could tell you more. I don’t have a clear way of presenting what goes on inside when it happens. I talk about it. I try to write about it. It isn’t easy being different than the society I live in. This growth has been the cause of letting go of capitalism, acquisition of things, clinging to an idea of perfection, fighting the world. It has helped me let go of anger. It has helped me examine the Self closely, and it is helping me begin to understand the concept of NO-SELF.

None of these are ideas that help me live in the American Society. I’m just learning to get along with it — and I try not to talk about these concepts with people who have no understanding of them. That is my biggest challenge as an evolving being: how to get along with those who are not growing spiritually.

When these events happen I am usually presented with life challenges and it was no different this time. My compassion and ability to communicate in a non-aggressive manner have been tested. I don’t think I’ll ever be one of those fluffy bunny new age gurus with a calm quiet voice and incredible tolerance, but as I get older I am less combative and each day my compassion grows. The biggest challenge is letting go of what people think about me. It’s what sets off the internal aggression that becomes outward expression, and that usually comes from a place of feeling hurt.

In learning to identify the underlying emotions it becomes easier to let go of the pain and suffering. I then become a happier person and, ultimately, I just want to be happy.

Please enjoy this offering.

 

 

braindump #24: Broken Foot and Zines